Friday, February 27, 2009

anak kecil yang cerdas dan bandel

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Thursday, February 26, 2009

KAPAN kita KEMANA (tentang hidup, tentang mati, tentang hidup sesudah mati)

Akhir akhir ini aku sering berfikir tentang mati
tentang caranya
seberapa sakitnya
dan tentang bagaimana sesudahnya
bahkan aku pernah bermimpi tentang bagaimana suasananya ketika aku dimakamkan
Bukan aku takut mati
Bukan juga sok berani mati
Aku sendiri heran kenapa sekarang sering berfikir tentang mati
ambil sisi positifnya saja
aku jadi bersikap hidup lebih baik
lagunya bimbo "hidup dan pesan Nabi" jadi terasa dalam sekali maknanya

Pesan Nabi jangan takut mati
meski kau sembunyi, dia menghampiri
takutlah pada kehidupan sesudah kau mati
Renungkanlah itu






rasain

There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move for a half an hour, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down.

The poor man started crying. The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"No, it's not that," the man replied: "Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me.

When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.

I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener.” The man was really sobbing now. "I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison."

Sunday, February 22, 2009

kita harus seperti ikan

HIDUP DILAUT TAPI GAK IKUTAN ASIN

Friday, February 20, 2009

SOMEBODY TO LOVE

22 FEBRUARI 2009GLOBAL TVJAM 20:00DONT MISS IT

nyesel gw nonton tv

Malam ini niatnya pengen tidur cepet
secara besok mau ke bogor
matiin pc
matiin lampu
nyalain tv (ini salahnya)
nyari channel sambil nunggu ngantuk
ga ada yang mendingan
di global tv ada panggung demokrasi
3 caleg seleb digebukin abis abisan sama yenni rossa damayanti, sujiwo tedjo, dan someone(ga inget namanya)
jawaban caleg calegnya bikin mual
yang gitu tuh yang nantinya jadi anggota legislatif?
ga jadi deh ngantuk
nyesel gw nonton tv

Selalu ada KAU selalu ada

Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
Oh karena hati tlah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yg kuhela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi, dan sepi

Selalu ada, kau selalu ada
Selalu ada, kau selalu ada

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

ADA LOWONGAN GAK?

Mohon bantuannya untuk memberikan pekerjaan kepada teman kami dibawah ini yang kehilangan pekerjaannya bulan lalu, dikarenakan kontrak pekerjaannya sudah selesai,
Berhubung yang bersangkutan masih perlu menafkahi keluarganya serta membayar berbagai cicilan kebutuhan rumah tangga serta hutang-hutang lainnya kepada berbagai pihak, maka ia sangat berharap bisa mendapatkan pekerjaan kembali.
Bila ada pekerjaan yang cocok dibagian marketing, mohon diberikan kesempatan, bila tidak ia bersedia untuk bekerja di bagian Cleaning Service, petugas keamanan, atau apa aja deh.
ini foto yang bersangkutan:



























Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"What's for dinner, Batman?" wuahahahahahahahaha

I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet again in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He came in the door, saw me and said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

blessing in disguise wkwkwkwkwkwk

Yankees Sign Iraqi Hurler
Shoe-throwing Tight-hander Impresses Scouts


In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009
season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar
al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.


The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankees scouts with his
performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of his shoes at
President George W. Bush.


While neither of the shoes hit their target, both throws "had great
velocity and good movement," said Yankee co-owner Hank
Steinbrenner. "The first shoe was high and outside but the second one
was right down the middle," Mr. Steinbrenner said.


The Yankees' boss said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi's
fighting spirit when Secret Service agents tackled him. "That could
come in handy when we have a series with Boston," he said.


Monday, February 16, 2009

cinta tanpa karena

belum menikah
atau belum punya kekasih
bukan berarti tak punya cinta
ada banyak sekali cinta yang kurasa
banyak cinta yang kupunya
cinta yang kuberikan dan yang kuterima
bukan cinta seperti suami istri atau sepasang kekasih sedang pacaran
juga bukan karena hubungan tali persaudaraan
cinta yang kumiliki ada juga yang tanpa sebab
tanpa karena
tanpa alasan
ada banyak cinta jenis itu kurasakan
pada beberapa orang sahabat
cinta yang ini terasa seperti orang tua pada anak dan keponakannya
ada rasa sayang, khawatir, kasihan, bangga, senang, rasa ingin melindungi, menjaga, dan membuat bahagia
dan tanpa ada rasa cemburu
mungkin ada yang menganggap beda
mungkin juga ada yang berprasangka
aku punya niat lain dibalik ini semua
aku tidak perduli
seperti yang sering dibilang karim:"kucing banting piring" katanya
artinya prasangka buruk jangan diperdulikan, biarkan saja
aku tidak harus membuktikan apapun pada siapapun
karena buatku cinta yang kumiliki dan kurasakan
tak membutuhkan alasan

Friday, February 13, 2009

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

gotcha !

ada beberapa nasehat buat pasangan yang akan menikah
1. KO MU NI KA SI >>>> komunikasi itu dua arah, jangan hanya mau didengar, tapi wajib untuk mendengar apa yang dikatakan pasanganmu. Dengarkan dan jangan marah.

2. CINTA itu seperti sabun, di genggam kuat dia lepas, di pegang lemah dia pun jatuh, letakkan sabun di tempatnya, pakailah ketika perlu, jangan dipegangin melulu.
Pasanganmu pun begitu, jangan di ikat, jangan di penjara, nanti dia meronta, dan kau akan kehilangannya.

3. CEMBURU itu pintu, yang menghubungkan cinta dan benci. Cemburu kecil kecilan bolehlah, cemburu buta jangan ah.

udah segitu dulu, kebanyakan tar lupa

Monday, February 09, 2009

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Thursday, February 05, 2009

icuy

Suatu ketika, awal 80an oom lagi bete banget.
Saat itu kayaknya ga ada deh masalah yang lebih berat dari masalah oom.
Biasa kan, kita selalu merasa masalah kita lah yang terberat dibanding masalah orang lain.
Btw waktu itu oom tinggal di matraman dalam I , di rumahnya tante, sendirian.
Pas lagi bete gitu icuy ngajak pergi.
Dia ga bilang mau kemana.
Ternyata dia ngajak oom ke bawah jembatan matraman, dipingir kali diatas batu besar kami duduk diam, sambil memandang beberapa anak pemulung yang tinggal dirumah kardus dibawah jembatan matraman bermain bola dari gulungan kertas koran yang diikat tali rafia.
Sebagian anak pemulung tersebut hanya memakai celana tanpa baju, ada juga yang memakai baju tanpa celana, tapi mereka bermain bola sambil tertawa gembira.
Oom diam dan diam diam tersadar: "Astaghfirullah aku terlalu banyak mengeluh sehingga lupa untuk bersyukur atas semua nikmatMU"
Si Icuy cuma senyum cengengesan liat oom meneteskan airmata.
Masalah yang tadi terasa berat menghimpit sirna entah kemana.
Seperti juga si icuy sekarang yang entah dimana.
Thanx bro, atas nasihatnya dalam diam.



hehehehehehehe................

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."

"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

Tuesday, February 03, 2009